Gummibrötchens Denglische Gedichte

Denglish Poems, rubberbunnily written.


Denglisches über den Wasserhahn, Kreisverkehr, Pantoffelheld, Zitteraal und Fallschirmspringer

Why do the water cocks "leak" sometimes

The reason why
the water cock
does sometimes cry
is just the shock
when he reali-
zes: there's no hen.
This makes him cry
just now and then
And those who say
"it leaks" are blunt
and anyway
quite ignorant!
....

Circle sex

To car drivers it's almost vex-
ation to have circle-sex
for circle-sex is frust, not lust,
turn round and round an round they must
they don't get on, they don't get far
a merry-go-round - not a car -
is what they drive. It makes them curse,
and that it's not sex makes it worse!
....

The slipper heroe

A slipper heroe dreams to be
sharp as an apron hunter
although he's in reality
quite blunt and even blunter

And never would he dare to tell
his day-dreams to his wife
for slipper heroes dread as hell
those female fits and strife!

The slipper heroe wouldn't fight;
his dreams he must supress
Unfortunately he talks at night
Poor heroe! What a mess!

....

The shivering eel

The eel who shivers is a fish
that has a jump within his dish
a louse has run across his liver;
what reason has he got to shiver?
he should be happy, because he
produces electricity
and needs not pay for it like us
Say shivering eel, what's the fuss?

....

The falling umbrella-jumper

Some brainies like to jump from high
with an umbrella falling
they say it feels as if they fly
to me it seems appalling!

I think we'll soon be flying high
and leave behind all sorrow
as soon as we have got to die;
but better not tomorrow!
---------------------------------------

The youngling and the kerbstone swallow

A youngling met a kerbstone swallow
her breast was full, her tummy hollow
he said to her: if you've got time
come drink with me a glass of lime!

The swallow answered: it's a crime
and waste of time to drink a lime!
I would go with you, my dear honey
for proper drinks and for some money!

But oh, the youngling had bad luck
he hadn't got a lousy buck
And so - with heart full and purse hollow
he had to leave the kerbstone swallow!
....

The lucky nightfolder

A nightfolder had lost his way
and unfortunately flown astray
an when at last he met a bat
that seemed to have some time for chat
he asked the bat: dear bat, would you
show me the way to Malibu?
Yes, dear, I'm on the way there too
and I'll take you to Malibu
I'll carry you, you need no money
for I will take you in my tummy!
....

Shocking and re-shocking in the hay

It may happen on your way
that you come across the hay
where some shockers live. That's why
hayshockers do jump so high!

The poor shockers in the grass
jump from shock when you trespass
If you're shocked now in return
you get only what you earn!
____________________________________________
(the correct English word for it is "grasshopper", I think)
...............................................................

the fence king

the fence king is - believe my words -
a sort of king among the birds
And though he isn't king by size
He is it sort of otherwise!

He looks quite simple, rather pale
but has a sweet erected tail
a tiny body and small wings
but he is king-size when he sings!

His song's impressive, loud and tense
and full of power and suspense
Just look at him, and you ask "whence
you've got your voice, you king of fence?"

_______________________________________
(This little bird is called "wren" in proper English)
....

the Slidshoe runner

What slidshoe runners want is frost
without strong frost they would be lost
But that's no trouble nowadays
for there are artificial ways
to create frozen floors, you see
(it only costs some energy)

The slidshoe runner - if beginner
won't be a championship winner
his very first steps are quite humble
each little crumble makes him stumble
but after some weeks of disaster
the master's getting fast and faster

Though even champions may fall
occasionally on their ball
This doesn't stop them slidshoe running
as proper sportsmen they're too cunning
I'm not like them. To ice I stick
just if it's cream and nice to lick!