English English limericks

@ Hi,

Naughty English limericks

There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a chair,
Till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.


There was a young man in Cape Horn
who wished he had never been born
and he shouldn’t have been
when his father had seen
that the top of his rubber had torn.

I hope you like them. Enjoy!

Elizabeth

A decrepit old gasman, named Peter,
While hunting around the gas meter,
Touched a leak with his light;
He rose out of sight--
And, as everyone who knows something about poetry
can tell you, he also ruined the meter.


von Urego
aus Fischer Taschenbuch ISBN 3 436 00800 1

A tutor who played on the flute
Had to teach two young people to toot.
Said the boys to the tutor:
"Is it harder to toot
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"


Urego
aus: ebd.

In the Woods

A girl with the nickname of Vicky
and a boyfriend wanting a quickie
making love in the neck of the wood
as quick and as often they could
leaving them happy and sticky

@ Urego

Ich habe von Tuten und Blasen keine Ahnung.

(I know as much about it as the man in the moon.)

Wish you a nice evening
Elizabeth

@ Stephan45

It is nearly impossible to translate limericks but you can be sure that I have understood the meaning of your limerick. LoL

Have a nice evening
Elizabeth

Dear Elitabeth,

if you really don't know anything about
tooting the flute
you missed a lot of pleasure in your life.


But I wouldn't dare to ask the man in the moon wether or not....

Greetings from

Urego

The old Fiddler

his wifey often did recall
when his craving after all
was grabbing her with vows
instead the wooden fiddel bows
time goes by and no more call

There was a young lady of Crewe
Who wanted to catch the 2:02.
Said a porter, 'Don't worry,
Or hurry, or scurry,
It's a minute to two to 2:02.

gefunden von Mary-Lou

There was a young lady from Thrace
whose corset grew too tight to lace.
Her mother said: "Nelly -
there's more in your belly
than ever went in through your face!"

- Quelle: "Playboy" (vor ca. 40 Jahren)