English English jokes
Two inuits stand in front of their new igluu watching a polarbear who stands on a floating piece of ice. "In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party!".
Theory of Relativity
One day Albert Einstein was asked at a dinner party to explain his theory of relativity. Einstein said, "I was walking in the country on a hot summer day with a blind friend and I said that I would like to have a drink of milk".
"Milk", said my friend, "What is milk?"
"A white liquid", I said.
"Liquid I understand," the blind man said. "But what is white?"
"White," I explained, "is the color of a swan´s feathers".
"Feathers I know, but what is a swan?"
"A bird with a crooked neck".
"Neck I know. What is crooked?"
Then I lost my patience. I took his arm, straightened it and said, "That is straight."
Then I bend his arm at the elbow and said, "Tha is crooked".
"Ah," said the blind man, "I know what you mean by milk."
One day Albert Einstein was asked at a dinner party to explain his theory of relativity. Einstein said, "I was walking in the country on a hot summer day with a blind friend and I said that I would like to have a drink of milk".
"Milk", said my friend, "What is milk?"
"A white liquid", I said.
"Liquid I understand," the blind man said. "But what is white?"
"White," I explained, "is the color of a swan´s feathers".
"Feathers I know, but what is a swan?"
"A bird with a crooked neck".
"Neck I know. What is crooked?"
Then I lost my patience. I took his arm, straightened it and said, "That is straight."
Then I bend his arm at the elbow and said, "Tha is crooked".
"Ah," said the blind man, "I know what you mean by milk."
I have a knot in the line about your joke Bärbel
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
Don't worry, yoli. To be honest, I didn't get it either, which doesn't mean anything, though. ![]()
Does he want to say that milk stands for milky way which is as warped as a swan's neck? What is the punch line?
Best, Federstrich
Does he want to say that milk stands for milky way which is as warped as a swan's neck? What is the punch line?
Best, Federstrich
Hi Fedi..nice to read you 
I still don't get it, not even with your clever Inspiration!
Yoou know, sometime one has to capitulate and realise that someones thoughts are not our thoughts to be understood.
Ist like jokes..People bend over to laugh, whilst I do not get it at all.
By the way...I am in Bad Dürrheim, having a great time and recuperating at the same time as well.
Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching
I still don't get it, not even with your clever Inspiration!
Yoou know, sometime one has to capitulate and realise that someones thoughts are not our thoughts to be understood.
Ist like jokes..People bend over to laugh, whilst I do not get it at all.
By the way...I am in Bad Dürrheim, having a great time and recuperating at the same time as well.
Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching
Hi yoli, nice to read YOU.
Yes, you mentioned it the other day. I guess it still has to do with your neck. I wish you well and hope your days are filled with rest and relaxation and that your stay will lead to full recovery. Just try and make the most of it. People watching can be a bit like trainspotting.![]()
You don't want to become an anorak, do you?
Take good care, Federstrich
Yes, you mentioned it the other day. I guess it still has to do with your neck. I wish you well and hope your days are filled with rest and relaxation and that your stay will lead to full recovery. Just try and make the most of it. People watching can be a bit like trainspotting.
You don't want to become an anorak, do you?Take good care, Federstrich
Why do Swiss cows wear bells? - Because their horns don't work.
That one I get.
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!"
The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BAS**RD!!!!"
A Nice Catch
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth,' the old man answered.
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub. A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy- ooking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth,' the old man answered.