English English jokes

so very true -.--- 

really?
do we do such a thing., or am I missing a point?
Nice to read you here Woschi2

hello dear yoli - yes, I think we "civilized" people do a lot of things that indigenous peoples find very strange. Shall we collect examples? :-)
For example the handkerchief. Primitive peoples spit their sniff out of their noses just once vigorously into nature and good is . Why we civilized people spit it in a cloth and then carry it around with us all day is difficult for them to understand :-)

how right you have here. I use at least   Paper hanky and through it in a bin. My husband, bless his little heart uses still proper handkerchiefs and...yes, he has to wash them himself.
But to be honest I am not unhappy to have a gained a few more comfortable habits, like for example, as the Moroccan still do in some places. Lift the hem und place his excrement in the gutter.
I try to think of another example in  a mo.

yes, you could. ... But don't forget that this is the joke section, and so was my picture this morning  :-)

... A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

A rich Arab walks in a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees an old guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be Einstein to know this guy is Jewish. So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear: 'drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the old Jew over there'. Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says: 'thank you', in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the Arab. He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Jew. As before, this does not seem to bother the old Jewish guy. He continues to smile, and again yells: 'thank you'. The Arab asks the bartender: "What's the matter with that Jew? I've ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all he does is smile and thank me." The bartender replies: 'He owns the place'.

 

somewhere in S.A: :-) 

A Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
With that, Old Man Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?" Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man. It ain't 'til next week."

... capture this? :-)