English English jokes

one for the ladies

Why do Swiss cows wear bells?

Because their horn don't work.

hihi  Rose, we will have to vote on he horns of the cows. Shall one be allowed to cut them off or not. We have no other problems it seems.
Good one about the Grandmother at the doctors Wo Schi

Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dogs".
Greetings Pucette

clever dogs..uses Phone...hihi

A classic Tommy Cooper gag: "I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"

I used to love Tommy Cooper

a little giggle  ...especially for @ SamuelVimes   :-)

Sometimes it pays to be the “dumb one”. . . . . .  :-)

oh cracky...you are right..never again letting kids go to school wiothout checking » everything...hihi

A balding, white haired man  walked into a jewelery store in
a local mall on a Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There was only $25 in your account.'
'I know, said the old man,
'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'